giantesslover45

Well..... I've been trying to enjoy my hiatus but now I'm seeing all of this news about Karbo and others and I can't just sit around and wait for the worse to happen.

DA has all of my most updated works but you can also find me on giantesscity, giantessworld (for my stories) and for those that like giant male content you can also find me on daddy's dollhouse.

You can also add me on discord. I have renders that are too explicit to post on DA that I havent posted yet, futa renders and as well taboo renders, so feel free to add me if you're interested. Just note that you have to state why you're adding me when you do, because if you dont, Ill just ignore the friend request. And if English isnt your first language or if youre not proficient with it, I apologize but Ill likely not respond either. GTSL45#0860

https://www.giantesscity.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=89128

https://forum.daddysdollhouse.org/user/giantesslover45 (giant male content only)

https://twitter.com/GtsLvr45

GTSL45#0860 (discord)

Honestly no reason to make this one long, so just here to say I will be on a long, indefinite hiatus. There will be some uploads here and there but other than that, I will be completely away for the rest of the year and probably most of 2024.

Im burnt out and have no focus or drive, so I want to replenish that. I have so much content I want to publish, specifically Ravia content but not in this state.

2023 is just around the corner, so I just wanted to take some time to write a journal to chat about things. Thanks again for those that choose to read this.

Man, 2022 was a wild ride for me. For rendering, I think this was one of my most disappointing years, both for consistency and as well as personal growth. Looking back at my uploads, the last time I actually made content for myself to post on the channel for everyone to enjoy was March.

MARCH.

That's an insane gap and inconsistency than I'm used to. After giving it time to think it over, I definitely know what the reasons were. It wasn't so much one massive thing that affected me. It was a lot of smaller things coming up that just compounded on itself, over and over. There were so many days that I would try to make a render and barely get past character creation and just close Daz.

REASONS FOR INCONSISTENCY

The biggest reason was commissions. For quite some time now, I was working a pretty much dead-end retail job, barely earning 50 cents over minimum wage, working random schedules every week. Some days I would come home and after having dinner and cleaning up, I would only have 1-2 hours for myself where I would have to go to bed to ensure that I got a healthy amount of sleep to be able to function the next day. That typical day happened more often than I wanted it to, on a weekly basis. I barely had the energy to even stay awake, let alone have the energy to boot up Daz and work on renders and do a good job and not half ass anything. Because of that, and the low pay, I felt pressured to try to not be living paycheck to paycheck and of course hard focused on commissions over my own enjoyment of making my own content. Obviously that backfired hard. My rendering career started strictly as a passion- to make content that I wanted to see and could barely find and as well to finally visualize all the ideas that I fantasized about in my head but couldn't draw out or illustrate verbally well. I kept pushing myself to treat renders as a lucrative venture and job rather than do something I enjoy and be supported for it instead. Anytime I wanted to make a render for myself during my free time, I always had the thought at the back of my head of, "You should be working on commissions right now." I literally could not get any renders done in good faith because I felt bad constantly getting behind and behind on commissions. I also just didn't know when to say no- whether that be decline a commission that was far too ambitious for me to do in a good amount of time or to limit myself. The idea of being more financially stable and as well as wanting to bring people's ideas to life kept my impulses out of check. All that continual stress of shitty work schedules and devoting all of my spare time to commissions which was work in of itself meant I was leaving myself with no spare time to actually enjoy hobbies like playing video games or just simply relaxing to destress.

Another big reason was also not wanting to be taken over by giantess content. I felt like I was devoting all my spare time to pornographic content, whether that was fantasizing in my head, surfing the web for my own desires or for work references, or making commissions. I wasn't giving myself any time at all to disconnect from this life and actually recover. Everyday I was exposing myself to copious amount of porn and fetish content and I think anyone who's been down this path knows how unhealthy it is. I became so physically and mentally sluggish from it. Nothing felt rewarding to do because I'd rather just crawl back into my fetish and porn hole and hide from any real world things. It took me a while but it finally hit me. I wasn't doing anything productive to get myself out of the rut- just being saddened by it and doing the exact same thing I didn't enjoy as a cope to escape from it. It got me nowhere for many months.

Burnout was another reason. I would go months working crappy schedules at work and beating myself down to power through commissions without break until I would hit a breaking point. I wouldn't want to even look at giantess content for weeks on end and rather just play games and watch youtube. Those themselves are also pretty destructive hobbies and don't offer a lot to being productive. For many months I was in this spiral, until everything seemingly changed late July.

A MASSIVE CHANGE

In April, I stupidly applied at my retail job for full time because there was an opening. I already worked long hours there as part time, so I figured to myself "whats a few more hours a week for more pay?" It was both my best and worst decision of my life. Working a retail job full-time, 40 hours a week, every week is absolute dogshit. Add on the fact that the place I worked was open everyday of the week meant that I worked every single Friday, Saturday and Sunday, every week for sometimes an entire month. I only ever got 1 day off at a time, never getting my 2 required days off a week together. I think everyone who works a full time job and gets their 2 days off together knows they need 1 day to get a lot of stuff done that they couldnt Mon-Fri and leave that second day off to just do nothing and be lazy. I never got that chance. I quickly realized how absolutely awful this was and needed a change. My motivation for things was quickly depleting with this new life. I couldn't even go and hang out with friends on the weekend because I was always working and those were the only days they themselves were available too. It fucking sucked. I took a shot in the dark and applied for a much higher status job, one in a government sector. I heard nothing from them for a full month. It felt like I was going to be stuck at the retail job for quite some time.

That is until May, I checked my email and saw the job interview for that same job. I absolutely lost my mind. I finally had a chance to change things. I worked my ass off to be prepared for it. The hiring process took literally I think 4-5 months of doing interviews and making it through different levels of applicant pools. That's when in July, I finally got the call- I got the job. No more would I be subjected to an ever changing schedule every week and now I will have a steady schedule that stays the same every week, forever. And the best part? I will always have weekends off and extra days off for government holidays. The pay too, was actually livable. I handed in my resignation at work so fast.

That new job pretty much changed my entire life. My day to day schedule completely changed. I had more free time at home before bed, which meant I had more time to pursue more productive things. For the first time in years I started reading again and not only have I been able to enjoy something I loved as a kid again, reading more is helping me get better at my own storytelling for giantess content. I'm learning a lot more things too, which in turn only make me more fired up to make more giantess content.

When I got the job offer in July and was told I would start in August, I decided to take a big hiatus from doing any kind of giantess content and used that 2 week lull to just play games to my hearts content. When I started my new job, I would try to start a new lifestyle too. I was doing pretty good but unfortunately, I eventually fell off my good habits and went back to the old ones. I tried my best to take a break from giantess content and porn content as a whole but it was much harder than I thought. I realize I'm just a bit fan of erotic content in general and the giantess side of things is merely an extension of it. I eventually got back into the giantess content, as well as my next big mistake- taking on commissions again.

THE SECOND BIG BURNOUT

I realized far too late that taking on commissions again was a big mistake. I got more adjusted to my new job and thought that I was in good standing to do commissions again. Things were going okay for a bit before it started to hit me again. I was prioritizing commissions over everything with my free time, I was taking on too many at a time and I was accepting a lot of commissions that were either too ambitious for my time or were ideas I flat out did not enjoy doing but accepted it for the money. After doing a couple of commissions that I didn't enjoy at all and realizing I was again spending too much free time on it, I hit a huge wall of burnout.

That burnout got subsided for a bit when I finally got my hands on a 3090- I figured having such a beast GPU meant that all my commission woes would be solved. I tried again to do commissions but failed, yet again.

This was the final straw. My mental for giantess fetish content finally hit a breaking point. I cancelled all the commissions I currently had and just stepped away from giantess content for quite a while. I had to because truthfully I was fighting the urge to permanently retire and never return to the community. I had this feeling 3 times during the fall. It took a lot of strength to escape that thought.

I had to look back at my private discord server where all my ideas are stored so I don't forget them. I have so many render ideas, so many comic ideas, so many new OCs I want to create and many, many more things that are written down and begging to be made. It would just be a major disservice not only to you guys but also to me to just throw in the towel and let those ideas sit unused.

Overall in life, I'm a pretty average person. There's nothing that stands out about me and I blend in with the crowd. Literally the only thing that I'm personally proud of and hold myself to personal high regard is my creativity. I've been praised a lot both in this community and in real life for having a creative mind and I realized that this is my one and only thing that makes me stand out. I have so many creative ideas that I need to bring to life and have displayed for the community before I throw in the towel and stop making content.

MY IDEAS FOR THE FUTURE

I realize that I have 2 crutches when it comes to helping people and as well as for content creation:

1. I try too much and too often to please everyone or as much people as I can

2. I get WAY TOO overly ambitious on my promises and ideas

With the first issue, I see it both in IRL and as well as the giantess community. In IRL, im always trying to help my coworkers in small ways like helping a client they're stuck on so they can go on lunch or hanging back a bit extra to help with a client rush. With giantess content, I noticed that I do a lot of different things: too many polls asking what people want to see; making promises on too many free requests; and my biggest crutch- accepting way too many commissions in a short period of time. I do all of that then complain to myself why I don't have any time for my own content. Another thing I noticed is that I have interest in many niche categories. Like I stated in my previous journal, I'm into a lot of things and I realize that at a loss for which niche I want to make content for next. I try to please all the different niches, get overwhelmed and then end up not making content for any of the communities. Going forward, I'm going to stop making polls or asking people what they want to see. I'm just going to make whats on my mind for that niche and post it and whoever enjoys it gets to. I'd rather make something and post it and have a small amount of people enjoy it rather than make a poll, get the consensus vote, get overwhelmed and make nothing.

The second issue is my double edged sword. On one hand, its my greatest asset- being able to come up with so many ideas at a given time- on the other hand, I often don't know where to start, get scared of all the ideas I put out and not know where to begin and just abandon everything. One way I plan to combat this is rather than spend a lot of time on one render and feel like im wasting time when things aren't going my way, I'm going to spend little time on many renders at a time, jumping around between renders. When I'm stuck on one, ill save where im at, leave it and go to another. Hopefully in due time I'll be able to mentally work out how to fix the other one I was stuck on. With that, I hope to be more consistent with regular uploads. Another thing I plan to do is restructure how I did polls. Rather than ask what kind of ideas people want to see, I'll put in the polls my specific ideas and people can vote on which one they would prefer to see first.

CONCLUSION

To conclude, I can say that 2022 was a massive change for my IRL life for the good but also was one of my worst years for content creation. I took some time for myself to reflect on that and I'm not ready to quit just yet. To set expectations right, I will at the very least give you an idea of whats to come. I'm not going to give any release dates or specifically state what I'm working on so I don't shoot myself in the foot or ruin expectations:

• I am currently working my second comic that I will release on Gumroad

• A new Look for Ravia with updated quality

• More Ravia comics and Ravia renders

• More Rebecca content

• Brand new OCs

• Mini comics

• An eventual end to Ravia's current story

• An eventual Patreon and/or Subscribestar for more explicit and exclusive content

And for my niche crowd who like other things:

• Futanari content- amazon sized, mini gts and giantess sized content

• Giant male content off site on another site that I will mention in the future

• More taboo and depraved content

Remember that all of this content is subject to change and that I make no guarantees anymore that I will do them. If you want to talk more about this stuff or have any questions, feel free to message me either on DA, or more preferably my Discord:

GTSL45#0860

Since I'm done with commissions, my discord will be more casual now and I will no longer be purging the friends list.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read all of this. I massively appreciate it.

Until next time!!!

I know not much people even notice these, so this time keeping it very short and concise.

Been very burned out this year. My current job is a shit retail job, full time, and doing commissions every month and not giving myself any time at all to even make my own content burnt me out extremely hard.

I was supposed to drop 2 comics this year; a second Ravia comic and a new comic with Rebecca. At this point, im not anywhere close to being done either of them.

Last few weeks have been hectic, in a good way. Finally landed a proper, brand new job that will open up a lot of opportunities in life. So landing that job has pushed me to make major life changes for the future.

As of today, I will be on indefinite hiatus. While I won't be gone, you won't see any more uploads from me likely until 2023, maybe Q2 at minimum. Commissions are also indefinitely closed and I honestly may never re-open them again, though, there can always be a change of heart. If you're a regular client reading this, don't hesitate to still contact me. If we had good back and forths, I will highly likely still take on a commission from you, though at a slow pace.

My goals for the future will be to open up a patreon and release more high quality paid comics. I will always have a passion for giantess content but making everything for free is not a good option anymore. I will try things out and just being brutally honest- if things don't work out with paid content for more than a year- ill likely permanently retire from being a creator and shift into being a watcher.

That's all. If you want to stay in contact, feel free to add me on discord: GTSL45#0860 Just when you add me, let me know your intentions. Im always down to chat giantess ideas and lore questions about my OCs and worlds. I will barely be around during August though the rest of the year ill be more active.

Until next time.

Well as you can tell, im about 500 watchers late to appreciate this, but better late than never I suppose.

First off, im absolutely grateful that I can even say that im late to saying thank you for 7,000 watchers when Im currently moving towards 8,000. Could not have done this without everyone's support and enjoying my content.

To kick things off, I will be releasing some renders I've been working on for a while and have been waiting for a good moment to release them. Im so close to finishing this project in particular and I dont want you guys waiting for so long so im releasing what I have now and will finish it before my backlog dries up.

I have more planned, like my first set of masterpiece renders that I need to get into and as well as comics. Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy these renders!

To explain more about the current project im releasing, I've taken a bunch of some of my favorite pieces of giantess art of all time that ive favorited on DA and did my own re imagining for them with my own thoughts. Some are pretty far off while others may seem like a basic reskin, I just hope you enjoy the art and the short stories with them!